Riveting! Stewart Francis, The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper. Well see about that. 101 Clean Jokes 1. 37. Yesterday, my wife injured her back trying to reach for the laundry detergent. I gave him a glass of water. 5) "Nowadays, comedians tell the news and the media tells the jokes.". I needed some fresh clothes for a change. I heard there were a bunch of break-ins over at the car park. I can tell when people are being judgmental just by looking at them. It doesnt bother me that Disney has given me unrealistic ideas about love. Refusing to go to the gym is a form of resistance training. 11. Its like a normal hotel, only in reception theres a picture of a pebble. Rhod Gilbert, My Dad always knew I was going to be a comedian. But its all just water under the fridge now. 56. So I bought 100 copies ofGoldfinger. Nick Hall, My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. Why didnt the toilet paper make it past the road? One was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. Suddenly it Dawn-ed on me. Our list includes a selection from the Aldi Mamia Best Dad Joke contest. It got peed-off. 29. I heard they're calling it 'Detergent, a dishsoapian novel'. I'm really not into spring cleaning. Dont you hate it when someone answers their own questions? Why'd the Eskimo do his laundry inside with tide pods? 74. These better be funny! Four fonts walk into a bar. Some relatives came to our house while my sister was trying to make a swing on the front lawn by hanging on a wire. Dear small line of dirt that wont go into the dustpan I hate you with every part of my soul. What happened to the leopard that fell in the washing machine? 80. Why did the mobsters prefer not to launder the dirty money? Always borrow money from a pessimist. 32. She was wearing massive gloves. Alun Cochrane, My Dad used to say fight fire with fire. Which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire brigade. Harry Hill, The guy who invented the wheel was an idiot. To the person who stole my power . Read: Hilarious dad jokes that will make you laugh so hard! You know that white thing on his head? 64. They can be basic one-liners that are nevertheless funny enough to make everyone chuckle. My brother was doing laundry and forgot to separate my mother's white dress from his red shirt. 52. That is wrong on so many different levels.' - Tim Vine These 100 jokes are free. I have been working next to the sink in the kitchen all afternoon. 1. Here are some of the most fun home and house puns that you will absolutely love. Comment * document.getElementById("comment").setAttribute( "id", "a6acb093a6415256b84d8aa314dc8bdc" );document.getElementById("h2249d7876").setAttribute( "id", "comment" ); Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. 14. My dog shed his hair all over the house, specifically on the fur-niture. 1. 23. Two fish are in a tank. 22. Rajnandini is an art lover and enthusiastically likes to spread her knowledge. ), 79 BEST Funny Jokes Easy to Share (for Adults & Kids), 60 Funny Pumpkin Jokes (Youll Surely FALL in love! Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. 55. 55. 92. What kind of exercise do washing machines love? It said, "good scour.". Realtor sheep like to chill in the baaa-throom. 50. The coach replied, "You're standing too close to the ball after you've hit it.". If you enjoy cracking jokes and one-liners at home, this article will not only help in fostering new ideas but will also act as a great stress buster, enjoy! They were a-mason. Kids and adults will moan, groan and laugh at these corny puns and one-liners. 40. Laundry puns are always clean and not at all washed out. Salesman: Maam, this vacuum cleaner is so great that it will cut all your work by half!. Its like a vacuum cleaner.. Im more annoyed that, no matter how much I sing, woodland animals have not once helped me with housework. 94. 15+ Cheeky and Corny Love Jokes you can laugh with him and her! As an Amazon Associate, Kidadl earns from qualifying purchases. We try our very best, but cannot guarantee perfection. 2. What did one toilet say to the other toilet? I was the one who always got picked to play Bethlehem in the school play. Jo Brand, 50 of Tim Vines most ingenious jokes and one-liners, I thought Id begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? I guess I was stoned off my ass. Laundry puns arent as bad as everyone thinks they are. 12. Here are some famous one liner jokes that can easily lift your spirits. I once bet my friend all my laundry that I could make him cry. When my closet picks a fight, it becomes a war-drobe. In the end, I threw in the towel. So we're hanging the clothes on a line outside. My sister and I were doing our laundry together. 9. They also make great Instagram captions for laundry day. Trilingual Rajnandini has also published work in a supplement for 'The Telegraph', and had her poetry shortlisted in Poems4Peace, an international project. Don't miss these 25 brainy jokes that'll make ye sound like a genius. 56. Light travels faster than sound, which is the reason that some people appear bright before you hear them speak. I thought, thats Abba-riginal. Tim Vine, I think the worst thing about driving a time machine is your kids are always in the back moaning, Are we then yet? Paul F. Taylor, Two monkeys were getting into the bath. Then the other eyelid. Ken Dodd, I like rice. We got a new couch from the furniture store yesterday. eBay. Lee Mack, As a kid I was made to walk the plank. Don't you ever get tired and feel like you want to throw in the towel? It was an emotional wedding. When I was in college, I used to do my roommate's laundry, and he used to do mine. 69. I wanted her to be the maid, and I wanted to be the guy playing video games. Keep reading for more of the funniest jokes of all time. 54. 28. The reception was fantastic. My father has schizophrenia, but hes good people. From cheesy one-liners to sweet dessert jokes,there's something here for every appetite. Just burned 2,000 calories. 3. He was the genius. Sid Caesar, I used to think sticks and stones could break my bones but words could never hurt me until I fell into a printing press. Milton Jones, Why on earth do people say things like my eyes arent what they used to be. So what did they used to be? We will always aim to give you accurate information at the date of publication - however, information does change, so its important you do your own research, double-check and make the decision that is right for your family. We try our very best, but cannot guarantee perfection. You must be over 18 years old to visit this site. The wife smiles, and says 'Thank you, that means a lot.'". Because they wanted to become filthy rich. 11. 83. What did the mother broom say to the baby broom? The Beatles wrote one song about laundry detergent and chocolate. 76. Trilingual Rajnandini has also published work in a supplement for 'The Telegraph', and had her poetry shortlisted in Poems4Peace, an international project. Why did the cop sit on the toilet? I was doing my laundry today, and the clothes seemed surprised. He wanted to make a "clean" getaway. Well see about that. Adam Hills, Ive written a letter to the Royal Mail to complain about my post being stolen. My brother was washing his suit and not doing a good job. To the person who stole my case of energy drinks: I hope you can't sleep at night. A police officer pulled me over and knocked on my window. All of it is washed up.". But I know a girl that would get really mad if she heard me say that." 13. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? I was feeling chair-itable so I donated a lot of my old furniture to the homeless shelter near my house. If you want more, we have clean jokes that are actually funny. 68. Open toad sandals. 95. Exact Match Keywords: cleaning puns names, short cleaning puns, cleaning product puns, housekeeping jokes one liners, spring cleaning puns, cleaning supply puns, wash puns, dry cleaning puns Source: https://jokesquotesfactory.com/cleaning-jokes-puns/ 'Clean'ing Jokes. By load balancing. Mom: Honey, your house is a wreck! 62. Houses in London often have cute and colourful doors. You are signed up for our newsletter! What happens when a closet picks a fight? I can write jokes I just choose not to. Stewart Lee, Conjunctivitis.com theres a site for sore eyes. Tim Vine, Exit signs? Boss Jokes One Liners. Q: Where can ye find a pirate who has lost his. I rang up British Telecom and said: I want to report a nuisance caller. He said: Not you again. Tim Vine, Its amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper. Jerry Seinfeld, I was in my car driving back from work. She seemed surprised. We recommend that these ideas are used as inspiration, that ideas are undertaken with appropriate adult supervision, and that each adult uses their own discretion and knowledge of their children to consider the safety and suitability. Check your inbox for your latest news from us. I ran out of detergent while I was going to do laundry today. My friend once found a fifty-dollar bill in his pant's pocket after laundry. That's a bit of a stretch." "I don't have a girlfriend. It's named 'Texas Fold' em'. That way, when you do criticize them, youre a mile away and you have their shoes. Please add a link to this article. 36. With a Master of Arts in English, she has worked as a private tutor and, in the past few years, has moved into content writing for companies such as Writer's Zone. I'll take it out for a spin later. 79. The man who survived both mustard gas and pepper spray is a seasoned veteran now. Our lives are made more enjoyable by jokes. ", 52. What did the broom say to the vacuum? 55. What do dentists call their x-rays? 83. I built a car out of my used and broken washing machine. There was a lot on the line. Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation toward the local swimming pool. I was upset when my freezer stopped working. I woke up in the morning to see a new version of myself. Nuclear detergents. - The Maids Blog Author: www.maids.com 19. To the person who stole my depression medication: I hope you're happy now. The highlight of my week was my new vacuum cleaner. Do you know who cleans the bottom of the ocean? When I was a baby he said, Is this a joke? Ken Dodd, I went down the local supermarket. But when it gets bad, I take something for it. Ken Dodd, I like to go into The Body Shop and shout out really loud, Ive already got one! Jimmy Carr, I got recognised today in Dixons. What kind of chocolate will you find in your pocket while doing laundry? He had to gnocchi instead. He never reads any of mine. Spike Milligan, The anti-ageing advert that I would like to see is a baby covered in cream saying, Aah, Ive used too much! Andrew Bird, I needed a password eight characters long, so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. Nick Helm, A few decades ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Report. He was camping in a nearby field and popped over to complain about the noise. Rob Brydon, So a lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins, I thought, Thats a turtle disaster. Peter Kay, I love Snapchat. The problem isnt that obesity runs in your family. Marcus Buckingham, You dont get anything clean without getting something else dirty. The easiest time to add insult to injury is when youre signing someones cast. He said, Ive hurt my arm in several places. The doctor said, Well dont go there any more. 66. To make sure they see it, Ive put it inside a birthday card. Gary Delaney, 25 of Peter Kays most ingenious jokes and one-liners26 of Stewart Lees most gloriously acerbic jokes49 of Monty Pythons funniest jokes45 of Ricky Gervais funniest jokes17 of Ken Dodds most ingeniously funny jokes27 of Sarah Millicans laugh out loud jokes50 of Jimmy Carrs funniest jokes and one-liners50 of Milton Joness most ingenious jokes and one-liners50 of Tim Vines most ingenious jokes and one-liners50 of Frankie Boyles funniest (and darkest) jokes25 of Charlie Brookers most cutting jokes and insults25 of Lee Macks wittiest jokes and one-liners75 of Billy Connollys best jokes, one-liners and quips30 of the best-ever jokes about Scotland from Scotland, 20 of the most absurdly funny quotes from Nathan Barley39 of the greatest Brass Eye and Day Today quotes25 of the most outrageous Summer Heights High quotes25 of Rik Mayalls greatest quotes25 of the funniest ever Still Game quotes50 of the funniest Father Ted quotesRed Dwarf: 30 of the funniest quotes and one-linersDerry Girls: 35 of the funniest quotes and one-liners25 of the most cantankerous Martin Crane quotes from Frasier25 of the most textbook Alan Partridge quotes50 of the best lines from Peep Show20 of The Young Ones most gloriously silly quotes20 of Malcolm Tuckers most cutting insults25 of the greatest Absolutely Fabulous quotes, darlingThe 20 most nonsensical quotes from the W1A team50 of the funniest Friends quotes and jokes. 18. It got stuck in a crack. There were so many details to iron out daily. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. Why did the astronaut bring his maid to the ISS (International Space Station)? 29. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? It was a mirror-cle. 36. What's the name of the first president of the laundromat? When I was in college, my roommate used to clean my room, and I used to clean his. 1. It's simple. You start in a beautiful gown end up cleaning everyone's messes. 59. Ive been working at the kitchen sink all afternoon. You can explore cleaners globally reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. It also includes some great house cleaning puns to make light work of those chores! 8. Here's the list of some of the punniest clever jokes related to laundry. Erma Bombeck, My idea of superwoman is someone who scrubs her own floors. Are people born with photographic memories, or does it take time to develop? Why did the girl at the dry cleaner quit her job? All of a sudden, the bottle exploded and completely drenched my hands. The end.. My dad seeing that, exclaimed, "that was a clothes one.". 99 Problems opportunities ", 24. With a clean microfiber cloth, wipe off any excess sealer. How do you make holy water? With an Orlando Broom. Do you really want music in the shower? Why was Mr. Miyagi allowed to do his laundry at Cobra Kai dojo? I just decided that the best action would be to close the lid and start washing it anyway. I was not certain about making our furniture ourselves.
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